Many Happy Returns of the Day and Merry Christmas

December 25th is a very important day for me since it is the Birthday of my Better Half and of course the Christmas. I wish my wife "Many Happy Returns of the Day" and "Merry Christmas" to the whole world simultaneously.

Our Annual Christmas Party

We recently had our Annual Christmas Party at Dolphin Centre. I was the lucky guy to win the first prize in the draw which was held.

His Flexibility

My father was a very flexible person. He allowed us to decide of our own. This reminds me Buddha's teachings about "Kalama Sutra", the last line which says:

"After observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and the benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."

My sister explained one such instance he allowed her to decide of her ownas follows:

"Thaththa used to dress me up sometimes, when I was in the kindergarten. I can remember once I wore a frock to school with all the buttons in the back. That dress had the buttons in the front but I did not listened to my father and said it is dressed in the other way. He didn’t argue with me. He was such a flexible person."

Vulgarising

I just read an article about Vulgurising one of the nice creations of Amaradewa. It is
"Shantha me re beela... pissu natai vedila, Mulu gama natavai pissa"
in place of
"Santha Me Re yaame, Kumudumale siriya"
The original song has a strong impression to calm down your stressed mind. The latter is only a distortion of lyrics in order to provide almost nothing.

I am really fond of wrap music and find nothing wrong in it. For instance "Rangahala Dan Atha.." wrapped by Sangeeth is really innovative. I enjoy both songs sung by Wijerathna Warakagoda and Sangeeth. Latter has not harmed the impression given by the song.

But the earlier example reveals a sad story of how people play with good piece of music and almost killing the great songs by adding no value to it. I wonder what these people expect from this sort of distortion.

A Management Practice

Today I learnt a management practice. That is, if you feel an employee is unnecessarily bothering you( fromManager's point of view) you will never give the message to him directly, instead he tells a selected employee (presumably senior to the earlier one) " why X is hanging around?, I don't have time to talk to him"

But when the said emplyee meets him, the manager never gives a least expression of his displeassure. See how tactful he is?

Pithu Padam Namamaham

One of my fellow emloyees used to read a piece of paper everyday before he started working. I asked him what was this? He said it was a prayer. I thought I am doing a similar thing since I used to keep my father's photograph on my dressing table and worship him, saying" Pithu Padam Namamaham" which gives me a very pleasant feeling to start the day and feel like getting my father's blessings to achieve whatever the things I face in my life.

Our Own Meal

We prepared a meal in an innovative manner. It is a great joy to taste the meals prepared of our own. Though I am not a good cook I contributed well so that the output was a great team effort.

The meal consisted of boiled vegetables and fried fish decorated with leaves.

The day I Met My Partner in Life

This white Octagonal tower made of solid blocks tells the whole story. During my childhood I was fascinated by this isolated giant located in Devinuwara, 160 feet tall. I used to visit this place as a school boy because one of my friends used to live nearby.

The lessons I learned in "Social Studies" in school allowed me to get to know about the symbol of a lighthouse which I put as a mean of identification in my tutorials, lecture notes, etc. whereas my friends used to ask me "Are from a Light House Family?"

On December 11, 1998 exactly six years from today, I met a lass in a train travelling from Colombo to Matara. We shared our feelings and decided that we are meant for each other. Today she is my loving wife and the marvel of it was that she hailed from a "Light House Family". She used to live at Lighthouse quarters with her family since her father was the Officer-in-Charge of the Structure.

Destiny made me to be a part of the "Light House Family". I am really surprised by this series of incidents.

Just to Share the Happiness I Gained

Yesterday I visited one of our fellow employees who was sick. I bought some oranges for him.I remember the days I felt very lazy to visit sick people. I hardly visited them.My fellow employee took the small bag of oranges and said "Thank You" in a faint voice. The gratitude in his eyes made me to feel happy, happier than ever. I knew he thanked me for my visit but the great thing is it was my father who paved the way to do little things like this on behalf of the others.

I was really surprised by the feelings I gathered.I observed my father from my childhood. He used to visit patients in " General Hospital, Matara".He hardly missed one. He not only visited his relatives and friends but also people who travel with him in public transport and the poor villagers.

I remember one of my relatives say " your father used to go to almost all the funerals of the people he knew".

My father never advised me to visit patients or participate in funerals.Instead he proved that is the way to treat people by his acts silently, similar to the manner he has passed away.

Thaththa, I don't have words to explain how I felt happy just by following the good habits you never insisted us to follow, but proved by your acts.

A Milestone

All of a sudden I saw that my blog has been viewed 99 times. This is my maiden century. Very few people knew about this blog and there were some strangers who shared my feelings with their own ideas.I wish to thank them all.

The mission remains the same." TO FIND GENUINE PEOPLE".

My Pal

Yesterday my sister gave me a very important contact detail. That is of "Thusitha", my pal. Though he is my cousin I never feel that he is so, because I consider him as my own brother.

I can still recall the good old days we spent together. We used to call ourselves "King Pawn" & "Queen Pawn". Of course we moved together as the said pawns who were very close to each other. I was really glad about Thusitha's perfomance in chess, just like "Tinker Mama" who was a grand master of our childhood. We reiterated the past by playing chess, where my father and his father used to play.

The perpetual check has commenced my friend, in the Chessboard of life where we cannot see any possibility of a checkmate.

Half the Glass is Full as Opposed to Half the Glass is Empty

I got a great idea. If I am an average left hander I will die nine years earlirer than an average right hander. So I might be able to school earlier than I've expected. I got the following from one of my colleagues:

"Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people"

If it is true, my dream to school again as the popular song:

'Thawath warak mata paasal yannata labunoth mama yanawaa"

Will be expedited. Isn't that great?

Positive Vibrant

This was a phrase used my one of my much loved cousins in describing my father. He said my father had a 'positive Vibrant' in his voice.

I can recall many instances where my father using this remarkable ability of him. One such instance, I will never forget in my life.

When I was in Second year of University, I wanted to buy a computer. But I was hesitant to ask my parents about this because I knew their financial constraints. However one day Thaththa was listening to a conversation I had with one of my batchmates. After the discussion he queitly came to me and asked "Do you want to buy a computer? "

I lied saying "No".

But he was in touch with my feelings and said: " Once I get my money which is expected to be released I will buy you a computer"

He bought me one. He never ever expressed his desires and never thought of buying anything for him. It is not the amount he gave me, but the intention to fulfill our dreams was GREAT.

I owe you a lot not in monetary terms but in terms of the rich feelings you gave me which has been deposited in my heart which will enhance with time.

He was Against the Conservatives

My father was against the Conservatives merely because he didn't want anyone to suffer. Even though the medical advisors state that there may be some difficulties in food digestion when you are sick, he didn't want us to suffer by not having food we love to eat when we are sick. My sister explains this in her own words:

"The other reason why I loved him to be with me when I was sick was that he allowed us to eat whatever we want. Because those days when we had fever our adults didn’t allow us to eat everything. We were given only some selected food, such as rice porridge or cream cracker biscuits, which we didn’t like much. But thaththa did not believe in it. Thanks to him I still do not lose my appetite when I have fever! "

I have gone through the same experience and that's why I want him to be my father forever.

One of His Favourite Proses

'Akuresse Muhuna Balamin Sinaasisee
Neela Walaa Ganga Muhudata Galaa Basee"

These two lines were originated by Thaththa when he was young. He used to be a poet and very few people knew about this rare ability of him.

His hometown was Akuressa and the River "Nilawala" was flowing beside his residence. Still the river flows and the poet has left us leaving the sweet memories of him with us.

This was sent by one of my sisters which really touched my heart.

"Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am, I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well."

Thaththa, you really live in our hearts forever.

Being a Left Hander

I am a left hander. My mother is also a left hander. She used to write using her left hand when she was small. I remember she used to say either Aththamma or Seeya had changed her writing habit and forced her to write using her right hand. She says her hand writing should have been better if she was allowed to write using left hand.

I disclosed a contradiction. I use right hand to cut papers using scissors and this is what wikipedia has to say about it.

"scissors, a very common tool, are arranged so that the line being cut along can be seen by a right-handed user, but is not visible to a left-handed user. Furthermore, the handles are often molded in a way that is very difficult for a left-hander to hold, and extensive use causes severe discomfort and pain"

So even though I am a Left Hander I enjoy the benefits of a Right Hander. Isn't it great?

Dear Kisandu

The problems you face nowadays may be how to convince Amma that you need milk, how to climb up the couch to play with the smiling Ayya appearing in the calendar hanging on wall or how to crawl under the bed to find your favourite toy. Your whole world, may be the small living room Amma used to keep all your toys and the inflated pool sent by Thaththa.

As you grow older, you will face a much bigger world filled with lot of complex issues. But remember, the small lessons you learn through the tiny things you achieve these days will be the strong foundation for your future issues.

He Used to.......

My father used to deliver valuable speeches at weddings.

One such speech is as follows:

"We must treat our parents, relatives and adults as much as we can. We must always take their advice.
But at your own home, whether to keep the pot containing flower on dining table or by the side of the window shall only be decided by the two of you."

In Sinhala in his own words:

"Kasaada bandata passe Ammala Thaththalata, Nadayinta saha Wadihitiyanta bohoma hondata salakanna ona. E ayage awawaada anushaasana labaaganna ona.
E vunata, thamunge gedara thiyana mal pochchiya thiyanne kaama mese langada, nathnam janele gawada kiyana eka theeranaya karanna ona oya denna witharai. Wena katawath ekata angili gahanna thiyanna epa.

This story is very meaningful and gives one of the best advices to a newly wedded couple.

His Favourite Song

When we were small our famous trip was to go to Loku Amma's Place. It was situated in Pitabeddara, a rural village surrounded with tea plantations. Loku Thaththa and Loku Amma treated us well and prepared for our visit weeks ahead. The house was located at the top of a mountain where we can see a small stream called "Dola".

In the evening, Thaththa used to sit with us in front of the house and tell stories. We listened to him with much pleassure. Sometimes he repeated the same story but we never got bored because they were well organized stories with lot of amusement.

At the end of the stories we used to sing songs. My sisters were good in singing and as a child I also tried my best to sing songs. I sang "Issara Kale Handa Mama.........". Thaththa used to sing a very special song. It started as "Mathaa.......", a song which could make our eyes wet. The song was about mother. The special thing to note is my father never had the opportunity to have his mother's love because he lost her when he was very small, similar to Prince Siddhartha who became Lord Buddha. But the way he sang gave us a picture how he should have treated his mother if she lived. She might have been very proud to have such a great son.

My youngest sister told that she remember the lyrics of that song. I shall publish them in future as a Tribute to him

Ananda Karunaratna

Thaththa at My Youngest Sister's Wedding

This pictue shows how happy and proud he was

Accept the Good Things of People & Ignore the Bad

Today I woke up with this idea in mind. The physical age and the mental age of common people are completely different. In my view, we all have this difference but what matters is how many instances we reveal it to the others.

Some times you may feel the first paragraph does not relate to the topic, but believe me it is so. People who do not adhere to the maturity expected from his/ her age always do blunders and inappropriate things and we think they are bad characteristics of them.

We all have good qualities and if we can squeeze them from every individual we will be able to learn through the university of experience. What I thought was to ignore the bad things of individuals ( This applies only to adults of physical age , I won't comment on children) and see them only through their good qualities.

Hope this will be a succesful effort in my journey to read people.

We are Proud of You

Dear Thaththa,

I know from the very first day I was born, you were behind me in every achievement I made.
The pleasent smile I inherited from you helped me to face people as a pleasing personality. Your kind way of greeting people allowed me to be with people so I never felt I was alone. Your knowledge in the English language guided me to communicate with people with confidence. Your way of speaking to people never allowed me to hurt anyone.

You have given life to five strong personalities. I'm sure we all made you proud and that's why you passed away without worries. I know everything you did for the benefit of us and one day we all tell our flesh & blood that how great you were. We are capable of telling the world that we are the proud children of "Ananda Karunaratna"who never hurt anybody and loved by many people.

Thaththa, though I tried my best not to cry as an adult, every morning I wake up with tears in my eyes. I never see you in my dreams because you are not a dream to me. Once I close my eyes I can visualise the kind face of you and that enables me to face the world with confidence.

I did something to make my father happy

Few weeks ago, I sent an Email to my youngest sister. In that, I mentioned " I want my parents to be the same in my next birth". She has told that to Thaththa few days before he passed away. That might have made him happy.

Yes Thaththa, I want you to be my father just once before you attain Nibbana.

I Lost Him Forever

I lost my father, the most adorable person in my life. It took 10 days for me to recollect my memory on him. I was thinking in the dark, hours spent to recall the joyful times we spent together finding that I will never ever be with him.

He always appeared with a smile to make people happy. The villagers loved him a lot and called him " Ananda Mahaththaya". Being an English teacher he used to teach English to children and it was almost free. Money was not a big issue for him. He was clearly out of the so called race among people who pursue wealth, power, etc. what they believe as the most important things in life. Instead he earned people.

I remember what he gave me as a child. The small amount of extra money he earned was spent on buying Ayya and me a Construction Set, a Mechano Set which paved the path for us to achieve the things in life. I remember how he bought me "Vidusara" the science paper every week.

The salient feature of his life was to accept whatever happens and he adjusts to the situation. He was so kind and always told me to be kind.

I have only one wish. I don't want him to attain Nibbana. I want him to be my father only once in my life since I have lot of things to tell him which I was unable to tell and I have lot of things to do on behalf of him. Then I want him to attain Nibbana and never suffer again in his life for a slightest thing in life.

Thaththa, I want to be like you, kind and simple and I will never hurt anyone in this life .

Learning a New Language

It was one of my dreams to learn Hindi, the singing language. I was always fascinated by hindi words expressed in the movies. I didn't understand anything in those movies but listened to them as I was listening to music. I know when we opened our eyes to see the first ray of light in this world, we were unable to speak a single word in any language. It was our environment which made us fluent in the languages we practise.

If you put forth some extra effort you will not only learn another language but also experience the joy of the strength of words you are using and their effect on people.

I started with butter which I spread on bread for my breakfast. Here is what I have found.

The Hindi Urdu for BUTTER is MAKKHAN

Imagine making butter; it is hard work.

I started with breakfast. How long will it take for me to reach the night and master the most facsinated language I have ever heard.

Checkmate

I started playing chess with my father when I was seven years old. I still remember the wooden chess board we had at home. My father used to beat us all the time. We played chess just as a pastime. "Tinker Mama" was one of the grand masters of chess during my childhood. We were fascinated by the way he played chess.

The second era of my chess career began when I was in my A/Ls. It was my brother who started the first chess club in Rahula College. Tinker Mama's son Thusitha was not only my cousin but also my pal in playing chess. We trained some nice chess players. Chinthaka, Kovida, Kaumal and Amila were some of them.

I still remember the first chess tournament we played at DS. Our first opponents were Visakians. I played with Apsara Gunaratne. From the begining we played some good moves and tempted the Visakians to think more on their next moves. As the time passed we realised they have taken more time to think and we were in good positions to either beat them or draw the games. After four hours, they set the clocks by our sides. It was the very first time I used a chess clock. Everything went wrong because of our lack of experience about the clocks. We concentrated more on reducing the time to think and made loopholes for the Visakians to crawl through. We were beaten six-nil.
...........more to be written later........

Music is a Balm

"Sandak Basa Giyaa Avaragire Irak Udaa Karalaa....................."
This famous song by Clarence reminds me a lot about my childhood.
There are lot of songs which relate to my life. Every word of them remind me series of events threfore I don't need a Time Tunnel to go into the past.
One such song is "Me May Gaha Yata.............". I was far behind some of my batchmates who could sing well. Chandana, Sola and Suminda were great performers. However I managed to sing that song wearing a shirt similar to the colour of May flowers during the welcome party given to our junior batch. It was the third song I sang in open stage. Of course the first song I sang was " Banen Banda.........." at our "Daham Pasala". I was small then and sang without background music. These two songs remind me the two eras I spent.
The second song was the most difficult one I sang. I sang that song at Aquinas during an Oration, the topic was "Song is a Balm". During my speech I suddenly sang "One Day in Paradise.........."

Jealousy

This very strong emotional feeling which I have experienced throughout my life is really confusing in expaining. There are no clear cuts for jealousy.

One thing I experienced during my university days were the perpetual effort of fellowmen to be the best. But only one can be the best. When the best person is unanimously chosen, the members of the rest tries to be the second best. So it is perpetual.

The best doesn't have the feeling of jealousy(not always). Since there is no one above him. Instead, what he does is support the rest with what he already possess. For instance the best in my super senior batch used to write answerscripts for past papers in his own handwriting, photocopy the same and distribute among all his batchmates. Great! He had no doubt about the fact that they could beat his aggregate in exams. Or rather he had no feeling of jealousy that someone could climb the ladder closer to him. Furher he lectured them in so called "Kuppi" ( Campus term for conducting unofficial lectures to pass knowledge on difficult subjects, in Sri Lanka).

One friend of mine used to appreciate every good thing she sees with a very pleasant smile.I don't know what was in her mind but her expression reveals she is not corrupted with jealousy.

I was jealous of various things in life. I'm trying my best to get rid of this harmful emotion.

Reading People

Reading people!! oh I failed

This was completely a new subject for me. Though I spent thousands of hours in finding a method to read minds of people,I failed.

I was a good reader of books. I read many chess books and was able to memorise at least 10 moves from the beginning in popular chess openings such as Ruy Lopez, Queen's Gambit and of course the famous Guicco Pianno. I could predict the next move of my opponent by looking at the chess board.

I was a good reader in Science and was able to memorise what I read during my exams and fortunately the answer scripts have been read and understood in order to provide me with good Grades.

I was a good reader on the direction, speed and spin of the ball when I played Table Tennis, my favourite indoor game. I could even judge the ball in bad light.

But, still I was unable to read a single person exactly and predict what his/her next move should be.

Lions

People relate Sri Lankans to Lions. I was really surprised by the comments made by the Sri Lankans on the behaviour of the Lions linking to only the Laziness of the people. But when you relate Lions' behaviour in a different context we can see lot of similarities between Sri Lankans and Lions.

1.Lions hunt in open spaces and teamwork increases the likelihood of a successful hunt. I can remember the guys led by Arjuna, Sri Lankan skipper hunted the Australians, the favourites to win the Wills world cup in 1996. It is exactly the way Lions hunt in an open field.

2.It says both male & female Lions are defending the pride against intruders. That is why Sri Lankans possess a loving and caring family lives. They normally like to govern their own family husband and wife together.

truthabout

truthabout

Alcohol

My view about Alcohol

There is no much difference between guys who drink and who do not drink. But will there be a very significat difference when the same applies to ladies? What is the exact demarcation? That has to be really looked into since it is not the amount of alchohol you take but the amount you can withstand without affecting your normal behaviour.

I fully agree with the fact that teetotaller is not better than an alcoholic. But the demarcation I mentioned matters. In the case of ladies, there is a doubt on commenting because in Sri Lanka, the society I used to deal with, consisted of very few ladies who consumes alcohol. I'll leave the comments to the reader.